I Moved My Blog

I just realized that I'd never posted that I moved my blogsite.

OK, that's NOT the total truth. I remembered it for a long time, meant to get around to posting the new address, never got it done, and then completely forgot I hadn't done it.

I wish I could say I'd been better about keeping up the new blog, but actually I let other writing things take over---of which I'm really excited about and will show you very soon. So, when I started posting again last week I remembered I should let people know my forwarding address. Gee, you'd think I was hiding out from bill collectors (or telemarketers) by not leaving a forwarding address.

Check my webpage to which my new blog is now linked: http://www.wordwardrobe.com/ or you can check at http://www.glendaschoonmaker.wordpress.com/ .

By the way, you can see a little of what I've been doing at www.BellaOnline.com . Click careers on the left, then writing, then nonfiction writing. Yes, I'm in there.







Thanks for visiting and hope to hear from you soon!

Ending an Eventful 2007

What an exciting time---the end of one year and thoughts of a new---with even an extra day this leap year to get all those tasks done that never get finished. Like, uh, well, those Christmas cards that I still didn't get out for at least 3 years in a row. Maybe I should take this years' extra day of February 29 to address next year's Christmas cards?

Oh, but I forgot. . . .

February 29 is the day our third grandbaby is due.

This calendar year our family's activities were so myriad I had to completely leave my writing except for the one magazine in Phoenix for which I still write on assignment.

Then on June 2, we got plopped into true empty nest with the marriage of our second child. "So, what do we do now with our lives whereas parenting has been our focus since our firstborn in 1976?"

I had no idea what a self-fulfilling prophecy I was establishing for myself when I began writing this year about following passions. My husband and I love each other's company and still consider ourselves best friends but weren't sure what to do now. It didn't take us long to figure it out.

In July, we bought a life-long passion: a 25 foot sailboat (1969) which we are completely restoring. In August, I went back to doing something I hadn't done in over 24 years. I renewed my hobby of doing Faberge style eggs using mostly ostrich eggs and some goose eggs. In October, I got involved with the Literacy Council. I again started teaching ESL-English as a Second Language----something I hadn't done in almost 20 years. I cherish the thrill of teaching viable skills to help people become what they want to be.

Now, for 2008 I'm getting back to writing—or rather I'm just starting.

I hope and pray that you will know your passions in life and be able to do something in 2008 to live those passions out.

If you care to share, I'd love to hear all about your life's passions and what you are doing to make them happen.

Many blessings to you for 2008!

Glenda -- wordwardrobe@citlink.net

Been Off the Trail Awhile

Or have you noticed?

I had so many things I wanted to say, but life interrupted with far too many important detours.

That’s OK. I’m notorious for berating myself with guilt if I’m not able to follow through on something important. Yet, God often has other things in mind for our schedules, and we need to keep ourselves open.

For the past few months, I’ve had the most exhilarating time focusing on our daughter’s wedding this June 2. She hates planning things; I love planning every detail whether it’s for a wedding, a small get together, or a huge community event. Plus, I’m getting to plan a beautiful wedding in a loving environment that I didn’t have.

My husband and I married during our senior year in college. To say my parents were displeased is a slight understatement. They felt we should wait until we graduated from college and have good, substantial paying jobs before thinking about marriage. Their focus was usually more on material things than relationship quality. I know parental decisions aren’t easy or foolproof.

I wanted to please my parents, but my stubborn streak would not relent. Because we couldn’t agree on any details about a wedding, we finally married with only our two families present. It was one of the saddest days in my life, because I knew I was disappointing my parents so much. Yet, I’m so thankful that God made me stubborn. I have a wonderful husband and have never regretted our marriage in all these 36 years.

Weddings should be joyous and a celebration of leaving old relationships and forming new ones.

We had fun at our son’s wedding several years ago, and he now has a wonderful wife with two adorable children (I’m not prejudiced or anything). We’re working to make our daughter’s wedding not only beautiful but a place where people will smile and say what a great time they had while there.

So, I haven’t been getting things done that I’d scheduled to do these past few months, but God gave me the desires of my heart in my husband and two children. Both our son and his wife, as well as our daughter and her fiancé, are displaying loving, compassionate qualities of sharing that we feel make long successful marriages.

By the way, our 5 year old granddaughter is the flower girl, and our soon to be 3 year old grandson is the ring bearer so we’re having a grand time with wedding and reception plans.

I’ll get back in my next post about having passion in life. You know what? The past few months, I’ve been doing exactly what I dreamed of doing and wouldn’t trade it for the world. That’s passion.

Passion Creates Vitality (part 1 of 3)

When I teach people techniques for giving a speech, there is one thing I always tell them: "If you have passion about your topic, God will give you the words and the ability to say it." Speakers can be lacking in professional abilities that make a great speaker, but if they have passion about what they are saying, they are often more exciting and worthwhile to listen to.

We also need passion in our daily lives. Each person needs at least one thing in life to be passionate about. I have many passions but one is that I love to create a relaxed but fun type environment in our home. Because I knew my last couple of months were going to be filled with commitments, I hadn't been able to do many of the things we enjoy in a quiet sort of way. This is the first week that I can say we've been able to just relax and enjoy things for awhile. I love being busy and productive, but I love taking time to experience the joy of being still.

This week? One night we had several people over for a pot luck supper. Another night my husband and I relaxed in lawn chairs while pondering the stars and admiring palm tree shadows with streaks of light glistening on some of the fronds. Last night I made a nice meal of old fashioned comfort foods, and later we read a book aloud to each other while having nice coffee served from a tray. Once in a while we find a humorous book we like to share so we'll take turns reading aloud. This one we're reading now is A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson.

It's been a simple but enjoyable week. There are no grand events going on. We simply have a passion for sharing a quiet time to enjoy each other's company and look for ways to do that.

If people have nothing to be passionate about, their faces show it. Their spirit shows it. Their body language shows it. Though sometimes specific dreams need to be put on hold for awhile, everyone can still have passion. What are you passionate about?

Looking for Misplaced Time

"The sooner I fall behind the more time I have to catch up."

What luxury if that statement were really true. Last winter I bought a sweatshirt from http://www.signals.com/ catalog with this idealistic statement on it. The problem is, this past six weeks I've lived my life as if this statement were true.

Because of a myriad of unusual things going on, I decided at the first of August to put all my writing and work (that didn't have immediate deadlines) on hold and concentrate on other activities—which also included cleaning every cabinet and drawer in my house. I thought by mid September we'd be through with our other activities; I'd also be through with cleaning; my life would be perfect, and I could start back on writing projects.

Oh, dear. What was I thinking?

Life doesn't work that way. We can't put life on hold until there's a Utopian time to do things. We don't just work on one goal at a time. Life is many goals: eat healthy, uplift people more with my words, keep my closets more organized so that I don't waste a third of my life looking for things, get my writing projects done not only on time but ahead of time so I won't be frazzled.

It's easy to do something well when we have tunnel vision and neglect everything else we should be doing. God gives each one of us the time we need. We have enough time to do everything that we should be doing. If we don't seem to have enough time, we need to evaluate what or how we are doing things. Sometimes we spend all our time being stressed because of all the things we have to do but aren't doing because we don't have time! Make sense?

Will I ever learn to be more constructive and less harried with the precious moments God has given me to use? Gradually, I'm getting better. If I can only live to be 875 years old, I think I'll learn to organize my time as I should.

The Harder You Try, the More You'll Fail

No, that's not a negative outlook on life. In fact, I had a short piece in one of the *Chicken Soup books about this very idea. If people don't fail, then they aren't trying to learn new things, advance in what they already know, or overcome negative behaviors. I'm not talking about people who say every day "this is the day I'm going to start . . ." whatever it is and repeat that same statement every morning. Those people are only fooling themselves when they do that. I'm talking about trying hard enough that you may advance part of one step, fall back two, advance a half step, advance a giant step, then fall back two or three. If you are really trying, you are going to make progress and succeed or get very near your goal eventually.

If everything a person does is a success, that person doesn't have very high goals.

For those that read my blog from July 31, you'll know it was about taking a vacation from being negative. I was the queen of success this week---at least, that's the crown I gave myself on Wednesday. I started my "vacation" on Sunday at noon and only had one super, tiny slip of negativism all the way to Wednesday night. It was easy. I wondered why everyone couldn't do it as easily as I was. I had it made---never another negative statement was going to leave my lips or rattle around and propagate in my head ever again.

It had been a great week. Then, Wednesday evening my husband came home from work and happened to tease me about something that always gets a reaction from me. I glared at him and told him exactly what I thought about his comment, then went on for about 30 minutes about several other negative things that I usually complain about. Ding. It's as if a half hour alarm went off in my brain that signaled what I'd been doing for the past 30 minutes. I'd completely forgotten about my "vacation." I failed. I'd become negative again.

I was disappointed in myself. I was frustrated that I'd succumbed so easily to taking the easy road of finding fault and not using energy to focus on the positive.

Nevertheless, I wasn't a failure. I had really tried and was elated that I'd gone slightly over 3 whole days without being negative. I think that's the longest I've ever gone before.

Yet, one thing I always tell myself. I don't have to wait until the first day of the month to try again or next Monday or tomorrow. If I want to follow a time frame, then I'll look at my clock and as soon it hits the beginning of the next hour, I write that time down and begin all over again. I'm back on vacation again.

You know what happened to us this week? Our clothes dryer went kaput and had to be replaced; our refrigerator started producing frost in a frostless environment; and tonight our dishwasher motor burned out, started smoldering, and could have easily burned the whole house down. Every other night this week we've been gone (and we often leave our dishwasher running) but tonight, we "just happened" to be here. Yes, we got through everything this week. I'm on vacation. I packed and prepared better this time and hope to stay on vacation at least 4 maybe 5 days.

*Chicken Soup for the Recovering Soul: Daily Inspirations Pub. Date: December 2005

Try Taking a Vacation

Summers can be the best time of year. Picnics in the park. The smell of freshly mown grass. Brilliant colored flowers replete with lush green vegetation. Giant trees with limbs so massive there's enough shade for the whole family reunion. . . .

I live in the deepest heart of the desert. No picnics here—you have to wait until cooler weather. No smell of freshly mown grass. Hardly anyone has grass---it's too hot and difficult to keep grass alive. Thankfully, we hardly have mosquitoes. Even they know it's too hot here. Yes, living in the desert does not bring the same smiles June through August that it does most places.

However, no matter where a person lives, you can still enjoy a vacation without even leaving the comfort of your own air conditioner.

Try taking a two week vacation from being negative. For many people, two weeks is a long time. They might shrivel into a tiny speck of dehydration if they aren't allowed to be negative for 14 whole days! Of course, those are also the people who probably feel they are never negative. They simply, "state the truth."

Give yourself a little test. (I know. We all hate tests.) See if you can go one whole day without saying something negative. If that doesn't work, try one hour or a half hour.

Call it "A Vacation from Being Negative." I think you'll find yourself more refreshed than after any other vacation you've ever taken.

How Many Times Have You Been Guilty?

Imagine someone is speaking to you in a conversation. . . .

• Do you stop what you are doing and give the person your undivided attention?
• Are you thinking about your response while the person is still talking?
• Do you interject your views when the other person is speaking (interrupt)?
• Do you fill in sentences because you assume you know what is going to be said?
• Are you fidgeting, wiggling, and opening your mouth to signal you want to speak?
• Do you change the subject at first chance to something you're more interested in talking about?
  

If you are completely innocent and never do these things, that's perfect!

Unfortunately, the rest of us can be found guilty some of the time.

Keep your mug shot out of conversations.

Paying for Answered Prayers?

What if you could pay an amount easily affordable to have your prayers answered? Of course, it's a heretical thought because the price has already been paid. Yet, imagine you made a list of prayers and were able to drop some coins, chickens, shocks of grain, whatever is easy for you into a box and "poof" your prayers are answered exactly the way you want them to be.

Let's see. I'm checking my piggy bank now. I want to get that high paying speaking job I've been thinking about and the writing deal I'm working on. I want to lose "X" pounds in three months (I'm not telling how many pounds). I want to start exercising two hours each day even though I'm not exercising at all now.Oh, and I want to buy that motor home we've looked at, plus I want our new neighbors that just moved in to be really nice and likable. Yes, those things would be best. How many dimes, quarters, and dollar bills will those prayers cost?

I'm thankful prayer doesn't work this way. For one thing, no matter how intelligent we are, we're not smart enough to know everything that's best for us. God is the only one who knows what lies ahead. He sees the potholes, crevices, hills, chasms, storms, and sunshine.

While we attempt to learn better listening skills to those around us, we also need to unplug our ears so that we can listen to guidance that may or may not fall within our own wants and desires. Put your money away. It's useless.

Is Rudeness Ever Necessary?

I've always been curious about the case of Dr. Terry Bennett. He's the doctor accused and sued by some of his patients as being too rude in what he says to them. Dr. Bennett denies some of the claims. There's no way the public is going to know if, or how many of, the complaints are legitimate. However, let's face it. Some people are just plain rude and do not consider how their words affect the listener.

From The Associated Press article on MSNBC, July 7, 2006 called No wrist-slap for name-calling rude doctor:

Judge Edward Fitzgerald made clear in a ruling
released Thursday that he did not condone remarks attributed to Dr. Terry
Bennett and found them unnecessary, but ruled Bennett had a right to speak
bluntly.“It is nonetheless important ... to ensure that physicians and patients
are free to discuss matters relating to health without fear of government
reprisal, even if such discussions may sometimes be harsh, rude or offensive to
the listener,” he concluded in the ruling Wednesday.

In our own interactions with friends, family, co-workers---everyone, I think there is a difference between being rude and being blunt, but the line between the two can be very wavy.

• Do you feel you've been blunt with someone yet weren't being rude?
• When do you think it's advisable to be rude or blunt?
• How can you protect a person's feelings while being blunt?

I'm eager to hear what others think about this.

All comments are moderated, but I'll pick out several to post. Check back in a couple of days to hear what others have to say. If you would like to provide a link to your site, let me know and I'll include that.